Monday, December 22, 2014

Crop Circle Hoaxers Can Suck my Ovaries

I don’t have balls. I’ve never wanted them. I suspect most of the crop circle hoaxers have them, along with an inversely proportional, large ego. 

There is a group of people who live mostly in Wiltshire England, and every year they create their own crop circle designs. Most of the time the farmer is the victim in what is essentially an act of vandalism. There are also rare instances when a farmer or company will commission a design. The unwilling farmers, however, face damaged crop fields, as well as additional damage caused by people wanting to come see the design. Researchers like me face a corruption and muddying of the data.

When I first started studying the geometry of crop circles, I wasted a lot of time studying hoaxed crop circles. A lot of time. A lot of wasted time. I want to personally thank the hoaxers for wasting so much of my precious research time, which I carved out of my daily life. It took me years to figure out the difference between the hoaxed crop circles and the genuine ones. Now I don’t waste as much time because I’ve developed a few geometric litmus tests that can be used to spot the fakes and exclude them from the data pool. 

So perhaps you understand my dilemma of whether to reveal what I’ve learned in my nearly 5 years of crop circle research. If I teach the hoaxers what I know, they can create better hoaxes and waste more of my time. I am reluctant to publish specifics, but at the same time I am angry at myself for self-censoring. Which brings me back to the point of this post: Crop Circle Hoaxers Can Suck my Ovaries

I don’t think they are bad people, but they are misguided in the belief that they are not harming their community. I suspect it is their disproportionally large egos that have lead them astray. I don’t think it is about money. I don’t see how one profits from faking crop circles. Some hoaxers believe their circles are part of a dialog with the circle makers, and I say if you are that compelled, find a place where you have permission, or choose a different medium for your creative expression.

Here are a few general problems I’ve seen with the geometry of hoaxed crop circle designs:

  • Nonexistent proportioning system. Complete lack of geometric order, sometimes interspersed with random elements from sacred geometry
  • Inconsistent proportioning. The system of proportion varies depending on which part of the design you look at.
  • Tram lines are used in the construction of the design elements rather than integrated into the overall geometric design.

So my message to the hoaxers is as follows:
Knock it off; find a more productive hobby. You are muddying the data and wasting the time of people who are trying to study the phenomenon from a scientific/mathematical point of view. Stop harming those you should be helping within your own community.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Circles as Numerical Sequences

Mathematics is a universal language, and our best way to communicate with those who are very different from us. We see increasingly complex mathematical designs appear in crop fields worldwide every year - in grass, wheat, barley, corn, snow and ice (I call them all “crop circles” for simplicity’s sake). Even the seemly simple ones hide a treasure of mathematics if you dig below the surface. These crop circle designs have an underlying order and beauty that even the mathematically challenged can appreciate. 

It is my belief that these beautiful designs encode data, because they contain blocks of objects that repeat, and there are rules about how the blocks can be assembled. This basically describes how language works, so it’s probable that these crop circle designs are using a geometric-based language. I think of it as a geometric object-oriented programming language that may be self-executing.

Let me clarify here that I am only talking about non-people-made (NPM) crop circle designs. The designs made by people don’t follow the same geometric rules, and have problems with proportion, scaling, and placement of the designs with respect to tram lines. Some of you may be asking – if they’re not made by people, then who? My answer to that is - an intelligent being who knows more than I. 

The Concept of Number

With the idea that math is universal, let’s start with something basic like the concept of number. In the book Contact by Carl Sagan, a radio transmitter on earth picked up a non-terrestrial signal with a series of beeps and spaces that communicated intelligent knowledge of prime numbers. Suppose we wanted to do something similar, except instead of using sound we wanted to use a visual medium to transmit the first 7 prime numbers.   

The best option for communicating numbers using geometric figures would depend on how many spatial dimensions you have available to communicate, and from which dimension the figures would be viewed from.


In one dimension (1-D), the best option to visually represent number is a sequence of lines and spaces. A line of length 2 would be followed by a space, then a line of length 3, followed by a space, etc… Note this would need to be viewed from a 2-D perspective in order to decode the numbers. 
Linear 1-D Representation of Prime Numbers


In two dimensions (2-D), the best option to visually represent numbers is a sequence of circles, placed concentrically or within a 2-D coordinate system. Radial lines on a polar coordinate system, triangles or squares also provide other options, but circles are superior because of their simplicity. Lines alone pose difficulty because of their 1-D nature. The line would need to be thick enough to be seen, but then a second dimension is introduced as well as a second number indicating the width. Using equilateral triangles or squares to represent pure numbers is also possible, but practically speaking, circles are still required to construct a perfect 60 or 90 degree angle.

Circles are the best 2-D choice to represent number because:
  • A circle is defined by one number – its radius
  •  A circle consists of one continuous line
  •  All points on the circle are the same distance from the center, which makes a circle resilient to distortion
  • Circles are the easiest geometric figure to construct
The simplest, most elegant way to represent prime numbers in 2-D is with a sequence of concentric circles with radii (or diameters) measurements equal to the prime numbers. Does this look familiar to anyone?


In three dimensions (3-D), the best option to visually represent numbers is a sequence of spheres, placed concentrically or within a 3-D coordinate system. It would be impossible, however, for a being living in 3-D to measure the relative sizes of nested spheres, so this type of encoding is not ideal for us here in 3-space.


The circle is the best 2-D geometric representation of pure number, and the best visual representation of numbers for those of us living in 3 dimensions.

Now we have a starting point for our crop circle language. The next logical step in decoding is to look at the sequences actually being generated by the designs in our crops. Then comes the tricky task of nailing down the positions of the design elements using a 2-D (polar?) coordinate system.
There is much work to be done… Are you on board? Are you ready?